So I'm sitting in on a group meeting I was envolved in last year, and the teacher goes around the table and asks everyone, How are you feeling today and you can't say good/bad.? It was finally my turn and my mind was saying tell them you feel blessed! But my heart blurted out "I feel overwhelmed". The group was shocked because I was dressed nice that day smiling laughing and generally appearing to have it all together! And the teacher said, overwhelmed about what? I answered back "Life". The teacher looked at me and said "wow !, you didn't just say one thing you said "Life" that's heavy!". Why life? I broke down into tears while expressing a long list of things I hadn't accomplished, angry about having had a host of broken promises from people I trusted, broken father for my child was at the top, and after chasing dream after dream I still sat there unsure about where I belonged in life. She then turned to me and said, your beautiful inside and out, your a geat mother, your so inspiring, amazing writer with dreams/aspirations and your not afraid to go after them"! But I just have one last question, Who's standards are you trying to live up to? "Because if you were only half the person you are today your standards are too high! your placing too much on one little person".
Those words changed my life! I still get down on myself but that day in that moment I made a promise to only live by my own standards and my higher powers truth about me. Not my mothers, fathers ,friends, t.v and defiantly not a man. I got so caught up in making everyone else's reality and there truth my own! Where I should be or how fast I needed to get there! When they say take it one day at a time, I believe that in every way. I feel like if you contribute to a little piece of your dreams everyday and work at it! your a day closer to your dream one day working for you. It's no secret that we were all created differently, with each having there own specific plan for life. So how can anyone tell you where you should be besides the ultimate creater, after all he made you! So there's a pretty good chance he'd know where your going and how long it'll take to get there.. I know one things for sure he's always proud of you so be proud of yourself no matter where you are!
I want to end by saying this: find the one thing your good at or one thing that you enjoy, whatever it is and cling to that until it's perfected. I don't care if your good at laughing make a career out of making others laugh! It was placed in you for a reason so put it to use. Like they say if you don't use it you lose it, and if that's happened to you pray to get it back. Then take a leap of faith by practicing that passion again. I don't believe in plan Bs, there just a quicker route to plan D (doubt). However I believe in a plan ME; staying true to me and my passion.
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