Think Like An Adult, Love Like A Child

     Everybody wants to love and everybody wants to be loved but somehow love is one of the hardest things to obtain, understand, but most of all figure out. If everyone wants love and we all mutually agree on that then why can't we have long loving relationships and it not be something were constantly trying to figure out? At least this has been a battle for me. 
     When I was a child I thought like a child and there was no secret to love because I was so innocent and untainted. I had so much love to give I could burst!!! So I said to myself maybe I should start to think more like a child as it says in the bible, that this way of thinking pleased God. So then it hit me, why don't we do this; make a list of all the things you want in a partner. Easy, right?!? So then I thought some more and I challenged myself to rip it up and make another list of all the things I have to offer a person, all of the things I would be willing to sacrifice and all the baggage I will selflessly suppress to make my partner happy. I know that seems backward but if it wasn't uncomfortable it wouldn't be right. So as I was in my childlike mind I remembered we were taught to do unto others as we would want them to do unto us! Somewhere along the way we tweaked that rule and made it our own. We now say I'm going to treat him or her the way they treat me, and there lies the problem! Nooo my friends you have to TEACH people how to treat you and the best teachers get results when they are leading by example! Stop being worried about giving too much too soon or being taken advantage of because the reality of the situation is this...love is Iove and as long as you are putting out the most loving part of you, sooner then later that beautiful karma will be brought back to you! If you're loving selflessly and being persistent, that other person will catch on and follow your lead or they will not and in that case they were not the one meant for you to love on. 
        Don't get discouraged but be encouraged for as long as your allowing your heart to be open love will eventually walk in. Don't allow a failed love to taint your heart and then carry that to the next person. That is where your baggage starts and we want to put an end to old thinking. Notions like, 'it's ok not to trust because you have been hurt' or 'it's normal to be jealous after what you have been through', I can go on and on, but this is not OK and it's not NORMAL... It's baggage! So leave it at the door! Remember the old grade school saying, "treat others the way you want to be treated." Go into your next relationship like a child. Obviously not to ignore your morals and values as an adult, which IS normal to have. But sacrificing a piece of the love you have to give and claiming the love you will have and deserve to get back! So I challenge you to stop looking for your perfect partner, start BEING the perfect partner!
  By:Candice Madison
Edited by: Christie McGinnis

Who's Standards Are You Living Up To?

     So I'm sitting in on a group meeting I was envolved in last year, and the teacher goes around the table and asks everyone, How are you feeling today and you can't say good/bad.? It was finally my turn and my mind was saying tell them you feel blessed! But my heart blurted out "I feel overwhelmed". The group was shocked because I was dressed nice that day smiling laughing and generally appearing to have it all together! And the teacher said, overwhelmed about what? I answered back "Life". The teacher looked at me and said "wow !, you didn't just say one thing you said "Life" that's heavy!". Why life? I broke down into tears while expressing a long list of things I hadn't accomplished, angry about having had a host of broken promises from people I trusted, broken father for my child was at the top, and after chasing dream after dream I still sat there unsure about where I belonged in life. She then turned to me and said, your beautiful inside and out, your a geat mother, your so inspiring, amazing writer with dreams/aspirations and your not afraid to go after them"! But I just have one last question, Who's standards are you trying to live up to? "Because if you were only half the person you are today your standards are too high! your placing too much on one little person".
       Those words changed my life! I still get down on myself  but that day in that moment I made a promise to only live by my own standards and my higher powers truth about me. Not my mothers, fathers ,friends, t.v and defiantly not a man. I got so caught up in making everyone else's reality and there truth my own! Where I should be or how fast I needed to get there! When they say take it one day at a time, I believe that in every way. I feel like if you contribute to a little piece of your dreams everyday and work at it! your a day closer to your dream one day working for you.  It's no secret that we were all created differently, with each having there own specific plan for life. So how can anyone tell you where you should be besides the ultimate creater, after all he made you! So there's a pretty good chance he'd know where your going and how long it'll take to get there.. I know one things for sure he's always proud of you so be proud of yourself no matter where you are!
      I want to end by saying this: find the one thing your good at or one thing that you enjoy, whatever it is and cling to that until it's perfected. I don't care if your good at laughing make a career out of making others laugh! It was placed in you for a reason so put it to use. Like they say if you don't use it you lose it, and if that's happened to you pray to get it back. Then take a leap of faith by practicing that passion again. I don't believe in plan Bs, there just a quicker route to plan D (doubt). However I believe in a plan ME; staying true to me and my passion.

Why I Think Woman Cheat/ Five Things to think About

     In society today there's a stigma! That men cheat more then woman! But the truth is woman are better at hiding it and woman will take it to there grave. Period point blank woman are better cheaters then men, however 9 times out of 10 if we cheat it's for emotional reasons or just feeling neglected. Either way here are my reason to why! 

• Lack of attention; Woman will like you to death but if ur not showing her any attention your feeding her insecurities therefore she's going to seek attention elsewhere. It sounds cliche but hey it's true! Well my truth that is.
• Lack of Romance; Guys so many times you will court the heck out of a girl until they actually get the prize! uhhhh who told you it was time to get comfortable nope? You have to do what you did to get her plus, it is actually time to deliver. Otherwise you'll began to rub off as cheap and BOOORING!
• Lack of sex; Ok if you've got a girl who you were going at it with in the bedroom, car, park wherever and it was consistently and frequently,  then all of a sudden it STOPS! She's not going to be to receptive to that, it'll just heighten her frustration and have her thinking of all her old flings. WOMAN LIKE SEX TOO, we just act like we don't so you'll initiate most times lol.We love a man who takes control. Oh but woman that's not always good but well talk about that later.
• Lack of trust; When your constantly accusing you will eventually  drive her to do it, hell guy or girl. it's kind of like that saying "you are what you think" well the same goes for a relationship, be confident speak life into ur relationship. Remember karma will always do it's job and the truth always comes out. I've learned it comes out cleaner when ur not looking. TRUST ME!  But really guys if you push and push and push, you'll push her right into another mans arms.
• Lack of Balls; Yea I said it! And I've been weak before, so if this is you! don't feel bad. I believe some woman may know there in some totally dead end relationship but they are afraid of being alone. Therefore instead of being a big girl and walking away they try to find what I call "The Transition Man" and men you never wanna be that guy, although I believe some guys like knowing there that guy because they DONT  have to commit. Beware of that type you'll find yourself  cheating your way out of a bad relationship just to enter another one. it's a vicious cycle.

Woman don't hate me you know it's true! If ur a perfect Patty then this may not be you, remember I said some woman. Cheating is not always sex it may be some emotional conversation, couple of dates, or it may just be plain old sex, either way it's wrong! These are just some things for you to think about. So wrap it up! Take a big girl pill! And just date if your not ready to commit. I've been a victim of cheating and it never feels good, and it's never ever respectable. 

3 Steps Closer To A Positive Mind

    Do you wake up cranky, tired, not just dreading Mondays but life in general? Looking at the day as a burden instead of a blessing? Well there's a solution to having better things to talk about, and living a happier more fulfilling life.   
     Solution 1: Stop talking about the problem and start talking about the solution as said by minister Joyce Meyer. If you are constantly talking about your problems, then you are breathing life into them! Let's take all that energy and talk about how you can solve the problem. When one dream dies instead of coming down on yourself come up with new fresh ideas. Find a friend worthy of hearing these ideas, and talk about them! It'll get you pumped up. Don't see it as a dream dying but a birth of something new. There's nothing wrong with starting over, just like the start of a new day, it's liberating! This goes for every change relationship, career, or friendship. 

    Solution 2: BEWARE of the company you keep. It's impossible to be a happy positive Patty if you constantly have a negative Nancy in you ear. I'm not saying you have to drop all your negative friends, but instead of joining them in there negative fest take the conversation in another direction ex; (man don't you just hate this job? The hours suck and the pay hasn't gone up in a year!)  You respond (No it's fine I'm just happy and grateful I have a job, so what's up for the weekend?). If that doesn't work politely ignore what there saying and take your mind to a better place. But I'm telling you now if nothing's working you might want to consider distancing yourself, rather friend.......or family! It's ur life so live it happily nothing should ever disturb your peace.
    Solution 3: Don't be afraid to talk to yourself! Yes I said it TALK TO YOURSELF! You know like a pep talk. Sometimes a good self pep talk is all we need to set the tone for a victorious day. Tell yourself or you higher power what you want out of the day! Take control of the way ur days go, there's nothing worse then waking up and letting ur day define ur thoughts. No! let your thoughts define your day. What you talk about with yourself sets the tone for greater thoughts, we are our greatest critic so let's learn to be nicer to the person in the mirror.

    These are just my humble suggestions and life experiences, I hope they help you the way they've helped me. 

Godbless.